chaos theory

with Antonina Mamzenko

Hi friend,

Since Christmas I've been pretty much head-down writing a PhD research proposal. It may feel a bit out of the blue (even to me), but looking back I can see that everything I've done in the past decade - or even longer! - has been quietly leading me up to this decision.

My research is focused on family photographic archive, intergenerational postmemory trauma, personal and collective histories, remembering and forgetting, knowing and not knowing, the weaponisation of memories, and ways we can attempt to metabolise intergenerational traumas to escape the cycles of violence. It's big, and it's important - and especially so now.

In order to write the 2,000 word proposal I have ingested a pretty insane amount of information in a very short time (and I have much to say about how traditional academic process really doesn't consider that not everyone's brains work the same way; here's a great article on bottom-up thinkers in academia), and at times it felt like my brain was going to explode. Despite all that work there's no guarantee I will actually start a PhD this year. I cannot afford tuition fees (and I don't believe anyone should have to pay to do research!), let alone give up work to pursue full-time study, so I'm applying for extremely competitive scholarships which due to Brexit and austerity are few and far between in the UK.

Whether or not I'll get the funding to start my PhD this autumn, writing this proposal has unlocked another layer in me and my work. I will be sharing more on all of the above topics here, and elsewhere too, in due course.

But in the meantime, I'm still mentoring and I'm still photographing, and here are some things coming up in March and April that you might be interested in.

Mother's Day gift vouchers for Unconventional Portraits

You (or your mum) really doesn't need another mug that'll end up in a landfill. Instead, how about a unique portrait photoshoot for the whole family? If you (or the grandparents) are based in SW London or Surrey, this could make the best gift (we can schedule the actual photoshoot for when the weather is a bit kinder; in the meantime I'll send you a gift voucher).

March 9th, 2pm GMT: Come brainstorm with me

In leu of next month's Creative Anarchy session I'm hosting a free Communing session on The Portal, focused specifically on marketing. Come and bring your marketing woes and let's brainstorm how to promote your business and art in this shitshow of a global situation without burying your head in the sand. The link above explains how to set up your Portal account, and you can RSVP to get the reminder from the community space.

March 23rd: Pick My Brain aka 46 for £46 mentoring marathon

I turn 46 in April and once again I'm celebrating by offering these quick fire mentoring sessions. They are perfect for:

• a quick catch up after a previous mentoring session we had;
• brainstorming or thought partnership;
• getting feedback on your portfolio / a single client gallery / a few pages on your website;
• getting help with technical / camera skills;
• getting a taste of working together with me one-on-one without a bigger commitment.

​Book yours here - and spread the word (and yes you can book multiple for yourself, too).

April 16th: Words+Pictures comes back!

I've had such a blast working with a wonderful group in January, and so Words+Pictures is coming back again in April. Julia said this class was the "perfect unblocker" for her, and Claire said it motivated her to keep dedicating time to her personal work. Not to mention the supportive atmosphere of each of our roundtables, even when dealing with difficult topics people wanted to explore through photographs and texts. We will start again right after the Easter break, on 16th April and you can book your place already with an early bird rate!

Ok that's a LOT of stuff, and I hope one of those is of use to you or someone you know. Sharing is caring so please share with a friend who you think could benefit, it makes a huge difference!

Antonina x

Other things you may be interested in:

​The Soup: A small group mentoring programme without a curriculum, but with spacious structure and accountability. Next one will run in the autumn. Hit reply if you'd like to chat and see if it's the right fit for you.

​1:1 Mentoring: If you need help with a specific question, be it your pricing structure, feedback on your brand new website or portfolio, or need some thought partnership, 90 minute mentoring slots are available. There's also a solidarity rate for those who would not be able to access mentoring otherwise.

​Family Photography: This year might be the last I'm offering my signature Adventure Sessions, and my availability is limited. If you're overdue one for your family, it may be a good idea to pencil in a date now. Hit reply to this email and let's chat. Unconventional Family Portraits are also available for those local(ish) to me. If we've worked together before I may be open to travelling a bit further afield for those, so ping me a message.